God's chastisement on me (my testimony of repentance)

Backtrack to 2016, it was a year that I will never forget for the rest of my life. In the early part of the year, it was when we as a family, decided to move to Australia for good. That was in the month of February. This was in spite of my wife's plea not to do so. In the month of March 2016, it so happened that a strife arose in the family of my wife resulting in her parents being made homeless. At that point, it saddened me very much, but I had hardened my heart in not doing anything about it. I did what I did because I believed in the reasons for doing what I did. Thereafter, believe me beloved brothers and sisters, everything that I touched was like it catches on fire and turned into ashes.

I was in great agony. My family too, suffered with me. I tried to open my King James Bible and read God's word but God would not speak to me from his word in the manner he normally would. I kind of knew at that point what was going on. I knelt before my King James Bible and confessed my faults, with tears and in sorrow, because I know I had sinned against God. I did that every morning and practically throughout the whole day. I could not eat, I had no appetite, because of the sorrow knowing that I had sinned against God.

Then one day, as I was reading from my King James Bible, I was led to Matthew 19, the story about the rich young ruler. While I was reading it, I stopped at verse 19, and it was just like a sword that pierced in, through to the depth of my heart, straight into my soul. I cried out to God and asked him to forgive me of my sin. It was very painful. Needless to say, we decided that we should move back to Singapore, to do what was needful. It so happened that some time later, when I was sharing this testimony with a brother, the Holy Ghost once again led me to check out on the phrases: “father and mother” and “thy father and thy mother.”

• “father and mother” - found 11 times in the KJV.

• “thy father and thy mother” - found 8 times in the KJV.

Do the math: 11 + 8 = 19.

Matthew 19:19 "Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

[Note: “I have sinned” 19x in the KJV]

This was the verse that convicted me, that caused me to repent and do what is right in the sight of the LORD. While I called myself a Christian, and had professed in the faith of the LORD Jesus Christ, my actions did not measure up to what I professed to believe in. After I left my job, I hardened my heart and left Singapore for Australia. We thought we were in a better place and we could be happier here. Never did we imagine the months ahead would be the exact opposite of what we wanted things to happen.

It was as if everything that we touch caught fire and got burned down to the ground. Life wasn't like that when we were in Singapore. It was as if God has removed his blessing and protection from us. Life was miserable in Australia. I couldn't get a proper job, and my children were constantly falling sick. I made an initial payment for a courier business, but later realized it was a scam. We also made an initial payment for a new house, and the installments were kicking in, but that was also when my wife's company announced that they could no longer keep her in her current position except she move back to Singapore.

We were reduced to a piece of bread, and that was when I began to sought the LORD in tears and in sorrows. I knelt before my King James Bible every day in the morning, crying out to God and asking the LORD to show us a way out. It was then, when the Spirit of God inspired me to this verse Matthew 19:19 "Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." The context of this verse is about a rich young ruler who claimed he has kept all of God's commandments, and in pride, asking Jesus how he could have eternal life. I was that rich young ruler.

Back in Singapore, I had everything, and I claimed to serve God, and I thought I knew much about the Bible. God used this experience to humble me. He chastised me with the rod of men, and with stripes of the children of men, and later he spoke to me from his word, that which is “thus saith the LORD,” convicted me of my sin, and caused me to repent.

Romans 2:3-4 "And thinkest thou this, O man, that judgest them which do such things, and doest the same, that thou shalt escape the judgment of God? 4 Or despisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbearance and longsuffering; not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee to repentance?"

It was the chastisement of God that brought me to my knees. It was the goodness of God that led me to repentance. It was the word of God that brought us back to Singapore, to do that which is right in the sight of the LORD. All praise, honour and glory to the Father, the Word and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

Romans 5:20 "Moreover the law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound:"

Life wasn't a bed of roses after we moved back to Singapore. First of all, we had already vacated our home in Singapore when we decided to move to Australia. So, when we returned, there was practically nothing in the house to support basic living. We had to set things up all over again, while waiting for our items to be shipped back from Australia. We thank God for my wife's sister and her family who accommodated us during the transition. That was the beginning of a period of tough time ahead, much harder and more challenging that I thought it was going to be. But in going through all these, the hand of God has never left us, as I am about to share.

Proverbs 28:13 "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy."

One of the first things we did, after we have re-accommodated ourselves in our old home, was to pay a visit to my wife's parents: her father and her bedridden mother, in the nearby state of Johor that they have moved to. When we met again, they were so happy to see us. We were met with tears of joy from each other's faces. It was a joy that I have not experienced for a long time. I asked for their forgiveness, and I told them that it was God who brought us back by a mighty hand. My father-in-law was in tears.

Soon after that, I began my job-hunting. Also, at the same time, the new house that we bought in Australia was due for taking over, and the developer had asked for a substantial amount of payment. At that point of time, only my wife was working; I was still jobless. We were in contact with a property agent in Australia which we gave the rights to sell the house. However, to kickstart the selling process, we must first take over the property from the developer, which required us to cough out a substantial amount of money. That was when God once again availed his mercy to us. You see, in my previous job I was awarded a substantial amount of Restricted Shares Unit (RSUs) not once but twice, due to my performance at work, but I had never traded stocks in my entire life and so I didn't know how to go about it. As a result, I never did once touch those shares.

The last time I heard about those shares was when I left my job: the share price was hovering at around $17. I did not bother to cash out those shares because I was not concerned at all. It so happened that around this time, the company that I used to work for was in the process of being acquired by another company, and for whatever reason the share price rose to nearly $30. It was very unusual. But now that we are in need of money, it came to my mind that I still have this amount of stocks that I could sell to raise the money needed, and so, I reluctantly went into the E-trade website to learn how to trade stocks!

Therefore, by God's grace, we managed to make the payment to the developer and took over the property. Then, we were met by the next hurdle in selling the property. You see, the property we bought was a townhouse in a suburb, which according to our property agent, was not an easy property to sell. Chances were that he could sell it off within 6 months - and that's not a guarantee. That means that we must be prepared to pay for the interests, which was costing us more than a couple of thousands a month. During that time, it presented a substantial financial challenge to us, because only my wife was working. I prayed to God and called out for his help.

The things that followed in the next few weeks to come was a lot of preparation work and making of brochures. Then when everything was in place, and the house was ready to be sold: a week passed, then two weeks passed, there was not much of an inquiry for the property. Then on the third week, I received a phone call from Australia. It was my property agent. He told me that a young Indian family came to view our property, and was very interested. They made an offer straight away, and the offer was slightly above the amount that we asked for. I straight away agreed to it, and asked the agent to proceed with the sale.

However, the agent told me to ask for another 5% more, as it was typically what they do over there. So, I took the agent's advice and asked for 5% more. The buyer agreed without so much of kicking a fuss, after some skillful persuasion by my property agent. Therefore, we managed to sell the property within 1 month instead of the 6 months that the agent has estimated. More amazingly, we managed to sell the property way above the asking price, and the profits were enough to cover what we have lost and there were still some leftover!

Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."

Truly, I don't have a logical explanation for all these, except God was the one who did it for us. Until today, I'm still in awe of what God has done for us, and I'll never forget this experience as long as I live, and by his grace. All praise and glory and honour to the Father, the Word and the Holy Ghost! Amen!

The Spirit of God led me to this passage (2 Samuel 22) when I repented, and we made a decision to turn back and do that which is right in the sight of the LORD. Notice the date of this post, it was dated 28-August-2016. I posted this Scripture for a reason. Two days before, on 26-August-2016, was the date when we returned to Singapore from Australia. It was just past midnight when I messaged my aunties, and we were in Changi Airport, preparing to alight from the airplane.

Isaiah 41:10 "¶ Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness."

September 2016 was when I began job-hunting. Previously I had left the company which I worked for 4 years to migrate to Australia. I have shared earlier that life wasn't a bed of roses when we returned from Australia. There were great challenges awaiting for us, that, if not for God's grace and mercy, we would certainly not have pulled through. However, at that point, there was really nothing for us to hold on to except Scripture.

Ecclesiastes 7:12 "For wisdom is a defence, and money is a defence: but the excellency of knowledge is, that wisdom giveth life to them that have it."

That was a period of a fiery trial for me especially, because I was without a job and an income. I had looked for old friends and ex-colleagues, they tried but none could answer my call for help. I could only hold on to the words of the LORD, to depend on him to provide for us in times such as this. It was a time of unrest and uncertainty, and only in Scripture and prayers do I find peace. My wife too, now the sole breadwinner, was facing a woe of her own. The company that she worked with was now bought over by another company and she was faced with the possibility of retrenchment. A few of her peers had already been retrenched. Things were certainly not looking good. She too, started looking out for opportunities. But by the grace of God, she soon managed to land on a new and more senior role in another company as compared to her previous role.

1 Peter 4:12-13 "Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: 13 But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ’s sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy."

However, that was not the end of that fiery trial. There was that niggling feeling of insecurity as long as I remain unemployed and without an income. There were a lot of tensions at home. So, months passed, and there was not so much of a prospect of me even getting an opportunity in my line of work. I couldn't even get a junior role or a temporary position despite the dozens of resumes I had submitted and the few interviews that I attended. By February 2017, after close to 6 months of intensive job search, I had basically given up hope of finding a job in my line of work. I decided to switch line to do some other things. That was when I went to attend a course for WSH Safety Coordinator hoping to start life afresh doing something different, starting from the basics.

Job 1:21 "… the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."

Despite of all the challenges and tough times that I had faced, I found myself hoping against the insurmountable reality as I continued to commit myself to prayers and Scripture. In fact, there was no safe hiding place for me, except in Scripture and time spent with the LORD. Once, I even thought to myself: perhaps it was the LORD who wanted things this way. Nevertheless, I found myself continuing to thank God for the little blessings that came along the way. At least now I had more time to spend with my daughter, to nurse her back to health. Among the four of us, my daughter had suffered the most from this ordeal of migrating to Australia and moving back to Singapore. I thank God for the King James Bible, the pure word of God. If not for my Bible and every word of God, I don't think I can have peace while living through the trial of faith.

Isaiah 55:8-9 "¶ For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts."

Three months quickly passed. Soon, I was about to graduate from the WSH Safety Coordinator course. Then one day, I received a call from my ex-company asking me if I would be interested in a new role in another organization which was linked to the previous organization that I used to work for. What happened was that I had previously approached my ex-boss in applying for a role that the company advertised related to the product I was supporting. Perhaps I was a little late in submitting my application, the role has already been taken up, and I was kind of disappointed. Then I forgot about the whole thing and moved on. Little did I expect that the boss of my ex-manager, the Software Engineering Director, took an interest in my return to Singapore, and he wanted me back to the company.

Proverbs 3:5-6 "¶ Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

As I have shared earlier in my testimony, the company that I used to work for was in the process of being acquired by another company. This new role was originally created for the Japan headcount, but because of the push from the Software Engineering Director, for me, the company actually transferred the headcount to Singapore. This was a role that I have not applied for, but it came to look for me instead. I was not even aware of the dynamics of things that had taken place behind the scene which led to this move. That, my friends, was the hand of God, the hand of my heavenly Father at work.

Job 23:9-10 "On the left hand, where he doth work, but I cannot behold him: he hideth himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: 10 But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold."

We discussed the job package, and I told the HR that I wanted the same package I used to get before I left the company for Australia. They readily agreed to the terms. So, the LORD restored to me what I had lost, even though it took me 10 months to get back to employment. I started work on 27-June-2017, which is exactly passed 10 months after we returned to Singapore, on 26-August-2016, and this day being a new beginning for me. Sometimes I wonder why it was exactly 10 months, because the number 10 is a reference to the Law in the Holy Bible, like the 10 Commandments. God gave the children of Israel 10 Commandments to prove them.

Daniel 1:12 "Prove thy servants, I beseech thee, ten days; and let them give us pulse to eat, and water to drink."

In this passage, Daniel and his three friends were "proved" for 10 days. Why 10 days? Why not 9 or 11? Attached here is an email showing the starting date of my new job, dated 27-June-2017, exactly passed 10 months after we returned from Australia, on 26-August-2016.

Romans 3:10 "As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one:"

There is a "gospel" (which is no gospel at all) which teaches that man is saved by his faith in Jesus Christ, and also by his obedience to the Law. In another words, if that man after his "salvation," failed to demonstrate obedience to the Law, then his salvation would be in jeopardy. The Jesus Christ of this type of "gospel" is not the Jesus Christ of the Holy Bible at all, because first and foremost, there is none righteous, no, not one. Man did not enter into sonship with God on the premise of his own merits. Rather, it was by the grace of God and grace alone.

Ecclesiastes 1:15 "That which is crooked cannot be made straight: and that which is wanting cannot be numbered."

Luke 3:4-6 "As it is written in the book of the words of Esaias the prophet, saying, The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight. 5 Every valley shall be filled, and every mountain and hill shall be brought low; and the crooked shall be made straight, and the rough ways shall be made smooth; 6 And all flesh shall see the salvation of God."

No man can make himself straight. Only God has the power to make straight the crooked. In the parable of the prodigal son, the younger son took his inheritance from his father, left his father house, and wasted his substance with riotous living. Afterwards, he began to be in want, he repented and made a decision to return to his father's house to become a hired servant. Notice what happen next:

Luke 15:20-24 "And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him. 21 And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son. 22 But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry."

The word "compassion" is a reference to the grace of God (Romans 9:15; Exodus 33:19). Despite his sin, the prodigal son could not out-sin his father's grace. Once a son, always a son. At this point, I'd like to share how my own testimony was a figure of the things in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). Many of you in my friends list would have known that in 2016 February, I took all that I have and moved to Australia.

Luke 15:13 "... and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living."

That was me.

Luke 15:14 "And when he had spent all, ... he began to be in want."

That was also me, no doubt about it.

Luke 15:16 "And he would fain have filled his belly ... and no man gave unto him."

Yup, it happened to me.

Luke 15:17 "And when he came to himself..."

Yup. I did, and I repented.

Luke 15:18 "I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,"

Yes, I still remember: that day I knelt before my King James Bible and cried out unto heaven for mercy. For a long time, we have not visited a local church. Then, it dawned on me: "I want to go back to the house of my Father!!"

Luke 15:20 "And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him."

Not too far from where we lived, there was a Calvary Baptist Church. The following Sunday, after I repented, we went as a family to that church. It so happened that it was also their communion service. For some reason, the pastor (Pastor Ernie Veszely) said in that service that they have not had holy communion for a long time, and he just felt like he wanted to have holy communion with the congregation on that day.

1 Corinthians 11:24 "And when he had given thanks, he brake it, and said, Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me."

When those words were read out during the communion "Take, eat: this is my body, which is broken for you: this do in remembrance of me", you can imagine how my heart was broken into pieces, how I broke down in tears before the congregation.

Luke 15:21 "And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son."

In my brokenness, I said unto my Father which art in heaven: “I have sinned against thee. I am no more worthy to be called thy son!!” Notice how gracious the father was to the prodigal son:

Luke 15:22-24 "But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet: 23 And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry: 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry."

God too, was gracious to me, despite my sin. Once a son, always a son. Once saved, always saved. In fact, without this fiery trial of faith between 2016 and 2017, I might not have survived the more recent Singapore government's coercion during the COVID19 plandemic times.